Challenging the Status Quo
One thing my wife and I were both committed to as parents was being very open minded about our children’s educations and post collegiate endeavors. We saw it as essentially a “tragedy” for a kid to go to college simply for the purpose of landing a job and quickly settling into a life of eight to five tedium.
But this was a bold step in our community, a community full of Business School grads, accountants, MBA’s, doctors and lawyers. We’re also not church goers or really “believers” in any sense of the word, so no, we don’t fit in. Not spraying the lawn was probably the first clue the neighbors picked up on as the whispering and fence talk spread faster than Yellow Fever.
I remember telling another parent on my daughter’s track team that Caroline would be a History and English major in college. The woman flashed a condescending smile and looked at me with quizzical eyes as she replied “What’s she gonna do with that?” To which I replied, “Whatever she wants.”
And now that our second child has completed his undergrad degree program in Art, the questions have once again arisen. “Well, what’s Jay going to do NOW?”
I can often sense one of those “I told you so” attitudes in such questions, a certain level of gleefulness even. They hardly wait for me to finish responding before they pounce and announce that their child already has a $45K per year job as a analyst for Get Rich Quick Corporation. After their own glowing story is hurled at you like a projectile, they stop and wait for your response (I’m surprised they’re not tapping their foot), something that will readily indicate they were the superior rearer of children. After all, all of life is a competition, isn’t it? Even raising your children!
My response is usually the same. “I know that makes you very happy and proud. Congratulations.” After that, I’m looking for any excuse for a hasty exit, lest the person make the unfortunate mistake of drawing me into debate on the subject.
I do believe it’s a tragedy for a young person to leave college and move straight into some 8 to 5 routine. This is the time in your life to travel, broaden your horizons, fine tune your focus and really discover who you are. Opt for seasonal employment with the Park Service, find a job as a firetower lookout, be a river guide or even just work at the local coffee shop for a while you save enough money to go do something you want to do. Hike the Pacific Coast Trail. Walk across Scotland. Bike across the country. Work in another country or in a U.S. community for an aid agency. But god, don’t go find a meaningless job sitting in a fucking cubicle farm every day. The insanity of the morning commute, performance appraisals, quotas, trade shows, seminars. Just say no, because there’s so much more to life and your job is not always the same as your work.
For example, my job is working for a high tech company, but my work is writing, gardening and being father and a husband. Challenging the status quo. And I enjoy my work much more than my job, because my work is infinitely more meaningful.
Our jobs do not define us, but our work certainly does define us.
What is Jay going to do? He’s going to do some part time work, possibly even some substitute teaching at small college with a struggling art department. He’ll spend most of his time doing what he does best, creating, and showing some of his creations at art shows in New York and elsewhere.
And for those of you that “wouldn’t want this for your son,” I want you to think for a moment what our society would be like without art, music and literature. This is necessary work, hard work, that too few are willing to support. Too many parents aren’t willing to allow their children to be who they want to be or what they want to be. They start manipulating and planning their lives from birth, forcing strange decisions and paths, as opposed to providing only the necessary amount of direction and leadership and allowing the child find his or her own path.
You want a disaster? Try to take a person that’s naturally gifted in music, art and writing and force them into becoming an accountant. That’s most likely going to result in an unfulfilled lifetime of misery and depression.
So young folks, if you’re reading this little piece, here’s my real message to you. If you chose this path, to be a creative person, and are now “struggling” in low paying jobs in-between your jaunts in forests, deserts, mountains and far away lands, I commend you. You are infinitely more successful and smarter than those that went straight to Merck, Skank of America, KPMG or Halliburton. One day you’ll write the fat masterpiece, teach children, help ferment democracy and feed the impoverished, write great sonnets and wonderful music. You’ll create interesting crafts, art and sculpture. You’ll live a full, wonderful creative life punctuated by trips in what’s left of our wilderness and most importantly, you’ll find real happiness in things that are real, not just greedy capitalist plunder.
Be strong and resilient and tell the busybodies and gossips to live their own lives.
Onward!